So why is it that relationships can be so flippin complicated?! Why do they have to be? Why is there always drama and high school behaviors that sometimes are associated with being in a relationship of any kind, whether it being a friendship, boyfriend/girlfriend, boyfriend/boyfriend, or girlfriend/girlfriend. Or if you are one of those relationships that I've left out such as dolphin/human relationship I apologize...to each his/her own right?! LOL.
These are the questions I have as I go through this short life of ours. I see my friends and family around me and watch how their relationships begin, evolve, end, or continue. Its amazing how you first look at someone with innocent eyes/mind, how quickly someone can fall for someone else and just as quickly fall out of a relationship. And how people change over time while in a relationship.
I have trouble understand how people who are in a domestic violent relationship continue to stay in that relationship. And I know all of you readers out there are saying, "how can you say that. You've never been in that situation before. Or I love them they will change". I want those people involved in domestic violence to ask yourself, Is it love when they punch you over not having dinner made? Is it flirting when they push you down the steps with the kids in the other room? Not only is the aggressor hurting you in that relationship, but they are effecting everyone in that family. Kids see and take in EVERYTHING. Whether you believe me or not. I've worked with enough abused kids who have witnessed DV within their own home to know, they do pay attention to everything their guardians and parents do, and it can have similar damage on their development as if they were the ones being physically hit. People who have kids and are in a toxic relationship are actually role modeling how they should treat their potential mate when they grow up. They are role modeling for a female that its ok to get hit by your boyfriend...thats "love". and They are role modeling for a male, that its ok to hit a woman and disrespect her because I'm the man in the relationship and in control of the situation. NO, NO, NO, NO!!! Its NOT ok for any of this. NO ONE deserves to be hit, bullied, intimidated, controlled, manipulated, degraded, and any other type of abuse. Please for those of you reading this if you know someone in a toxic relationship, give them support, your ear, and an emergency number to a DV shelter for help if they want it. Sad thing is you can't help someone who doesn't feel they need help, or feel like they can change the person who is abusing them. I've seen a lot working with adults the results of being in a DV relationship. Its sad, and frustrating.
I think you know the answer. Those people who get beat on in relationships and stay with them are used to that and unfortunately feel that THAT is how they are supposed to be treated.
ReplyDeleteWhen I first started dating my wife, I went with her to her family's Easter party. I spotted a girl there who was absolutely gorgeous and very well built. I asked my then girlfriend who that was and she told me it was her cousin who was 15.
That girl is now 19 and has a kid. Her kids father is abusive and used to beat the hell out of her and currently has nothing to do with her or their kid. He's also hooked on crack. I finally found out that this girl thought that was the way she was supposed to be treated in a relationship, which is why she stuck it out with him. From growing up in a bad family and watching her mom get her ass kicked by her boyfriend, this girl learned that THAT was what was supposed to happen in a relationship.
It turns out, this gorgeous bombshell doesn't think highly of herself and only now is she figuring out that she deserves better. But it happened and it still happens all over the place. Weak cowards date women with self esteem issues and take advantage of them to make themselves feel better about themselves. It's a shame, but it happens, and keeps Maury on the air, so I'm all for it lol.
Tru DAT!! Well put, my friend, well put.
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